Portal 2: Sequel of the Century

Go ahead and start this video and listen along while you read this.

Believe it or not, I need another pair of new shorts. My Game Informer finally came in the mail today, and I'm more confident than ever that Valve can follow up the best game of this generation with a winner. Apparently, there was a recent update to the original where a voice thanks you for assuming the party escort submission position after you defeat the game, indicating that Chell becomes recaptured at the end. Portal 2 will star Chell again, and it takes place 100 years after the first game...so I guess Aperture has cryo-chambers of sort.

The game will be a full retail game this time and will feature not one, but two full-length campaigns. The first is the sequel, the second is a completely separate co-op campaign. The co-op campaign will not star Chell, but two biped robots. Valve obviously wanted Chell's story to remain solo, a decision I fully support. Even better, I love that the single-player and co-op campaigns are separate. That way, there isn't the narrative inconsistency seen in co-op Halo games, or the intolerable AI partners seen when playing Gears of War alone. Plus, that's, like, twice as much Portal, and it makes even more sense because a puzzle solvable by one person wouldn't be much of a challenge for two.

They're bringing back the writers from the first game and Jonathan Coultan, writer of "Still Alive." The development team has more than tripled in size, so Valve is really putting all their effort into it now (Since when does Valve release full-length games in 4 consecutive years?). Along with bringing the humor back (which is key), they're also adding a whole mess of new physics-based ways to solve puzzles. One of which is a large suction tube called the "Pneumatic Diversity Vent" which can be used to dispose of turrets (and maybe other enemies?). Put a portal under it and then one on a wall, and the suction physics continue through the portal. If you don't think that sounds awesome, you're dead inside. Notice, also, that the humorous naming continues. I love how everything has a whimsically intimidating name. There's all of these horrifying devices and concepts dressed up in encouraging buzz words. The article also lists new devices like the "Excursion Funnel", the "Thermal Discouragement Beam", and the "Aerial Faith Plate." I'll let you guess what they all mean.

Overall, the article is extremely encouraging, and I suggest picking up a copy if you loved Portal as much as I did. Now, I need to try and do my best not to get overly excited, because I've been let down before. It helps that I don't think it could possibly be better than the first because the first one was just too good. Okay, I need to stop thinking about it before I get myself too hyped up again. Calm down, Chill.

--Chilly P

p.s. I didn't make any references to cake or triumphs this time, aren't you proud of me?